My heart is still capable of loving. My heart that has been broken by someone but had failed to take away the tenderness
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
One thing that destroys intimacy is the lack of change. We're afraid of change. Intimacy needs change. It's changing, and everything in it is in a state of change, and you can't expect others to remain the same, they're going to change too. Intimacy cannot be expected. You can have no expectations in interaction with another. No one can always be or do what you would wish of them. Everything comes to you as a surprise, and if you think about it, every downer that you have is because someone didn't meet your expectations. Think about it! Every time you're down it's because someone didn't call or text you or didn't remember your birthday. If they remember it, you dance around the table. If they call, you do back flips and if they text, you do the split! And if they don't, it should be alright too. It mainly requires that you be spontaneous in your approach to relationships. See what happens. Laugh yourself silly over what bothers other people. Predictability is a bore, if you want to be fascinating be unpredictable. The only thing you can count on as far as I'm concerned is my unpredictability. You can never count on what I'm going to do or say. I change constantly. Show what you feel in a relationship. If you feel like crying, cry your eyes out. When you feel like laughing, laugh your eyes out. Scream when you want to scream. And don't wait to communicate your feelings. I think one of the greatest destructive element in relationships is our inability to relate what we're feeling now. I always tell my friends, never have short arguments. The trouble with arguments is that they are usually over before they solve anything. The longer you argue the more you're going to get to the feelings, and so when they start walking out of the room, chase them! Say, "Wait! I don't understand, keep talking!" Eventually you're going to find out what you're arguing about is pretty damn silly. If we need each other, we need each other now. Relationships are disintegrating, separations are growing and those relationships are casual and mostly meaningless. Intimacy is not simple. It's the greatest challenge to our maturity. It's our greatest hope.