Sunday, November 13, 2011
Valuable and Lovable
Those of us who had ordinary people as parents can, if we think about it, gain our freedom from the fantasy of perfect parents because we can construct a realistic belief along the lines of my parents tried to do the best they could. Through their own lack of understanding and through the necessities of their lives they cause me pain. This pain made me believe that I was not valuable and lovable, but now I know that this belief is incorrect. I was, as I am now and shall always be, valuable and lovable.
Those of us who had as parents people who were cruel and indifferent to us have more difficult task in gaining freedom from the fantasy of perfect parents, for we have to see that whom we are born to is just a matter of chance. Some of us are very unlucky. That is annoying, but still no reason to believe that because we are unlucky we are unlucky in everything else. The realistic belief we need to construct is along the lines of, 'No matter who my parents were or what they did, I was, as I am now and shall always be valuable and lovable.