For You

I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be the creator of the person that is in me if you choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble. You alone can see behind my mask. You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty and loneliness. So please don't pass me by. I know it will not be easy for you. A conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. And the nearer that you approach me, the blinder I may strike back. You see, I am to be fighting against the very thing I need the most.

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34th Birthday

Today I'm celebrating my 34th birthday. I was born on February 12, 1978 at 10:30 in the morning. When I try to figure out what I've been doing for the past 34 years of my life I realized there was no grand design or pattern that I took, there was nothing spectacular. Yes there were many thing I wish I could change, Perhaps I would finish my studies, maybe then life would be different. But what was done is done. I can't undo it and I can't afford to dwell on my past. They say it is never too late to become what you might have been, that is true for the best way to predict one's future is to invent it. And here I am inventing my  future taking command of my own fate, It's not perfect but it's enough. But I have a long way to go, 34 is not really that old, and this time I'll take more chances, I'll take more risk, I'll travel more, I'll work more, I'll party more, I will share more and I'll give more love and take what I deserve. I only live once so might as well enjoy this journey. And whatever wisdom I earned in the process let God help me to use it in the way that I could live my life without hurting someone. And to those people who became part of my life and to those who continue to be a part of it, I say thank you for those 34 years and here's for 34 more.

Day 42

Dear Romeo,

How do I begin to pick up the pieces of an old life when I know in my heart there is no turning back... In a man's life being broken is something that is inevitable and here I am with all the heartaches I had gone through still full of hope because tonight when you said I love you too, all those experiences suddenly made sense to me... that even with all those painful experiences, as hopeful as a person can be happiness will once again fill a persons heart if he remains true to the word love. You asked me why do I love you and my answer were the same. I love you as you are and who you are and not what you have or you don't have. I may have not seen your best and your worst but I'll be here hoping for your success and most specially I will be your strenght when you experience failure. I love you and thank you for saving me in every way that a person can be saved.

Gabriel

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Patience

Lucky are those who found love and love found them. Let them experience what they deserve. And while those of us who wait for our turn whether we are yet to find someone or who like me had found the one to love but yet to experience being loved by the object of my affection, must always remember that patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to always be true to someone while waiting.

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